Artemis Fowl: The Last Fairy Encounter
by kitkatfaye
Summary: Been a year, but Artemis is still a criminal mastermind. His mother tries to supervise him, his father is in critical care due to mental impairments. Mulch is 2 be involved in a new scheme, in which faeries & mudpeople go head2head...
1. In the basement

*Author's Note: Hello! This is my first fic. (Well, if you'd like to get technical about it, it's really my second. But my first was a total flunkie....) I just love Artemis Fowl, and so I figured I just HAD to write something about it. A fic seemed like a really good idea to me... and frankly, there just ARENT enough Artemis Fowl fics out there! Ok- Lastly, this little writing piece MAY not make sense if you haven't read Eoin Colfer's (I spelled that right, right? Riiiight? I think I did...) second book, Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident. Anyway- Read, Enjoy, and most especially, R&R!!!! Oh. Btw, "Hippopotomonstrosesquipedalians?*" is a (fake XD)scientific term for really, really, really, really long words, if you can't figure it out from the context.*  
  
Chapter One: The Search is On  
  
A boy sat back in a chair rather large for his small fourteen-year-old frame. He was in the corner of his roomy and redone basement, fully furnished with a rich ivy-green carpet. The room was crowded with high-tech gadgets and improved reinventions all constructed by him. He was a young, Irish genius always showing off the knowledge and maturity that the average thirty-year-old acquired with good time. People who were polite enough might describe his skin tone as cream alabaster. However, most people would tell you it was inhumanly pale, for it was bleached a whiter than white by the hours he spent in front of his computer. Much in contrast, his hair was a raven-plumage black. His eyes were dark and glittering with contempt for his inferiors (which, to him was almost everyone), standing out in his face as the only thing that hinted on a human expression.  
  
"Butler," the boy called for his trusty manservant.  
  
"Yes, Artemis?" the big man answered obediently.  
  
"Can you come over here and tell me if I misspelled Hippopotomonstrosesquipedalians?* The homework is monotonous as ever today, and I'm much too tired to really check myself. In addition, this computer so-called 'spell-checker' is horrendous..."  
  
The man called Butler rose to his feet, standing at almost seven feet tall. He walked over and then stood checking the computer screen. "Yes, Master Fowl, I believe that's right." He grinned, "Why couldn't you just say something like...'big words'?"  
  
"Sounds immature," Artemis almost winced.  
  
Butler nodded. Of course, the last thing Artemis Fowl wanted to be accused of in school was sounding childish. Saint Bartleby's didn't need another just-slightly-over-average-in-IQ boy among the many that attended.  
  
"Artemis," Butler began, "I might want to remind you that we're scheduled to visit your father again today at the Helsinki University..."  
  
Butler noted the minute pause in Artemis's typing, but he started up again, using the excuse of hastily scratching his elbow for any break. "Yes, I know."  
  
Artemis held in a little sigh of sadness. His father had been ill for a little over a year now. Recently, he bolted upright awakening from an afternoon nap, screaming. He had begun to recall bits of the two years he had disappeared. Nurses rushed to his bed to give him shots to set him back to sleep, thinking he was crazy. The man firmly refused to stop rambling on about the Russian Mafia. Artemis was the only one who could assure his father he wasn't insane-but he also strongly believed he shouldn't and could never talk about it. The sound of approaching steps on the oak stair pulled Artemis back to reality. Before he even realized it, his mother was hovering over him.  
  
"And then, you just tap Enter, and viola!" Exclaimed Mistress Angeline Fowl cheerfully. Artemis realized hazily he had stopped typing yet again. Still, he /had/ finished his report on the benefits and disadvantages to extremely long words being included in literature, and it was now in the process of printing.  
  
"Arty, darling, what's wrong?"  
  
Artemis let out his earlier restrained sigh. "Nothing, mother. It's just that sometimes, with you around, it's hard to find time to do some of the things I used to take joy in doing." Half true. Kind of. Obviously, Artemis's brilliant criminal scheming had to be put to rest a great deal of the time. But the thing that really bothered him was Father. His drastic measures he'd taken to save his father had proven almost useless. A father half-dead in the hospital was nearly just as well as a father vanished and off somewhere in Northern Russia. Artemis rarely ever saw him. When he did it was almost heartbreaking. The memory played fresh in his mind, /"Artemis, are you sure?"/ he nodded, and Butler shot the already injured man in the shoulder. It was the fact that he had made the order to shoot his own father bothered him to near tears.  
  
"Ah, I see," murmured Angeline. A little white lie. Of course she didn't. Even the woman who birthed Artemis Fowl could never fully understand him. "I'll be upstairs. I'm expecting a call." Then she rushed out of the room, throwing a worried glance over her shoulder.  
  
When the basement clapped mutely shut behind her, Artemis stretched back in his chair, staring with shadowy eyes at the ceiling.  
  
"So," the manservant attempted casually, "how is the search?"  
  
"Nothing yet," heaved Artemis, chin between his palms now.  
  
Butler nodded, "that Mr. Diggims is a clever one."  
  
"And that's exactly why we need him," the boy replied. "Ah, me, if those fairies could see the gears in my head turning now. They'd most strictly forbid me to think such things.  
  
"The fairies," Artemis repeated, ever-so-quietly. In his heart he had become rather fond of them all, and even, he ventured, missed them. He missed quirky Mr. Diggums, the clever intelligence of Foaly, the unique shade that was Commander Root's complexion, and deep down, Holly's dangerous beauty and cockiness.  
  
His manservant nodded absently in response. Somewhere upstairs, he recognized the sound of Juliet Butler breaking something. Probably using her latest wrestling technique. After that he heard the crash of something expensive against a wall. He groaned.  
  
"Permission to be excused?" Butler said helplessly. "I fear Juliet has broken yet another something valuable mimicking a stunt one of her wrestling heroes."  
  
"Of course," Artemis hurried back to his research. Quickly, he added, "Call me up if it's anything of significance."  
  
"Very good sir." Butler bowed just slightly and was quickly ascending the staircase, making his way down a hallway and down another hallway, into the great entrance hall. He drew in a sharp breath.  
  
"Juliet," he breathed hoarsely. "What's that you've got pinned beneath you?"  
  
She blinked over her shoulder, blond lashes heavy with the usual glitter mascara. "It's not a what, Big Brother, it's a who. But I'm still at a loss as to who in the Hell it is." She squirmed a bit, and Butler was able to catch a glimpse of a very small man in what looked like backflapped, footed pajamas and a little hat. Then she shifted into her original place again.  
  
"Oh /Master Fowl!/" the massive butler called.  
  
  
  
Artemis let out a stream of curses at his computer monitor. Nothing. /Nothing,/ /nothing,// nothing!/ Mulch was nowhere to be found. Artemis was tempted to check the study. Perhaps there was something on the CNN feed? They had had that up and running for quite a while now. Then he heard Butler's call. Somewhat amusing. He sounded a bit hoarse. Butler's booming voice only got hoarse when he was nervous. And he was rarely ever nervous.  
  
"Well, 'Call me up if it's anything of significance'," Artemis repeated to himself as he got up and out of his comfy swivel chair and climbed the stairs. "But how important can it be? What'd she do, break an especially pretty vase?" his lips twitched again at his wry humor. "Now, now," he chided himself. "If Butler says it's important, then of course it's important. But," he paused in momentary uncertainty, "What on earth could be the matter? Has someone actually gotten past my security system?" He remained talking like this, hesitantly turning at an intersection of corridors to the right.  
  
He slowed at the main hall, taking one step. Another. Another. Then he stopped altogether, gaping. "Butler," he whispered, throat gone dry. "Is that?.. Is-Is he?."  
  
"I think so, Artemis."  
  
Juliet got up hastily and stood beside her older brother. The heap of a little man clad in pajama clothing blinked a couple times. He brushed the remnants of a flowerpot off of his head and stood. With a bow, he spoke: "So we meet again, Mud Boy. Lance Digger, at your service."  
  
  
  
UPDATE- I've been able to find the place at which Artemis Fowl Senior first resided for medical attention, and also was able to update my settings. I made a bit more minor changes in my way of wording things and such, and also felt I should shorten the beginning... Still. Describing Arty is just so much fun! . Thank you very much for the comments, Kitty Rainbow, Blue Yeti. I know in the creative world of writing, one cannot improve without criticism. I shall be editing this chapter and be starting on the second. I think the only change i'll have some trouble with is converting my And yes, the second will be a little more up to speed. Thanx again! ^^ 


	2. Surprise Trip

A short chapter to keep you all busy. Sorry for the delay, I've been busy with tedious school work.... Anyway, this is only about half of Chapter Two, but I'm working on the other half as we speak and that'll be up within a couple days. (at least, i'll post it within a couple days, I don't know about Fanfiction.net actually getting it up and running.) Nothing too big going on yet... but... just wait a bit^^;;;;;  
  
Chapter Two: Surprise Trip  
  
"Lance Digger?" Artemis said, dazed.  
  
"The very same."  
  
Artemis shook his head vigorously, struggling to regain composure. "Well, 'Mr. Digger'. What business do you have in my manor?" He almost smiled, delighted. His tone was icy as ever.  
  
An suddenly uneasy Mulch/Lance muttered lamely in reply, "The darndest thing happened... See, I was just trying to get what gold you might have left in here, and the moment I slip down from the vents, your 'warrior princess' here jumped me." He made quite a show of pouting and pointing at the blond servant before adding with a barely hidden grin, "I woulda gotten away with it, too, if it just weren't for this one meddling kid..."  
  
"Mr. Diggums, Mr. Diggums," Artemis waggled an index finger. "But that's not all, is it? I believe it's not just a fetish for gold that brought your hide here. Going to my manor, of all places, is like suicide, no? In a split second Butler could disable you in more ways than even I would care to count."  
  
"He could, couldn't he?" He tugged gently at his stiff dwarf beard. "But then again, he hasn't. Has he? I already know something you didn't think I would know you knew I know."  
  
Juliet smacked the side of her pretty blond head against the wall. She had been left out on the mysterious journey to the Arctic, she had no idea who this Mulch was, and so she was lost enough. Did he have to speak in such crazy sentences as well?  
  
"Mud Boy," the diminutive man continued, glancing briefly at Juliet and then returning his attention to Artemis. "You need me for something. Otherwise, you're macho Butler would have crushed me by now."  
  
Artemis opened his mouth to come up with a snappy response just as the phone rang. "One moment," he said instead. He shuffled over to the phone and picked up the receiver and could hardly mask the irritation in his voice. "Yes?"  
  
"When was it you planned on seeing Sir Fowl Senior?" sounded the most polite voice of a familiar Dr. Sharon Geary.  
  
"Sharon, now's not a very good time for me," Artemis growled into the phone.  
  
"He's not well at all," Dr. Geary went on, trying to ignore the fact that Artemis had called her by her first name. "In fact, he's almost completely lost it. He really needs to be with his family. And Artemis, Dublin is just so far from Helsinki-if you're going to go see your father you have to leave straight away."  
  
Artemis's expression softened. "All right Geary. We'll be over in a couple hours." He gently let the phone fall back into its cradle and turned to the silent Juliet and Butler and jumpy Mulch.  
  
"Dr. Geary wants me and Mother to go to see father," he said quietly. "Butler, let's go prepare my things." He mentally pushed his emotions aside for a moment and threw a sharp glance at Mulch, who just happened to be shimmying himself up into the vent. "Diggums, this doesn't get you off the hook. Get your arse down from there. The Fowls are all taking a nice, long trip, and you're to tag along."  
  
  
  
Angeline was in the back of the Fowl's private plane reading a magazine when her son sat himself down in a plush chair next to his manservant and opposite the butler's sister and a dwarf. Mulch was silently debating with himself whether he should consider escape as he gnawed at his nails. The only thing that kept him anchored to his seat was the dawning realization that Juliet was quite pretty for a mere human. Meanwhile, Butler was rather worriedly glancing at his little sister, who was staring off into space and reciting all the wrestling moves she could off the top of her head. "Pile Driver, Diablo Crusher, Whirl 'im Good...."  
  
Artemis's face was a mask of cool composure. He had to act as if this were a perfectly normal situation. "So, caviar anyone?" he reached into a little cooler.  
  
Juliet droned on as Mulch fidgeted and finally said, "Well, I'm more of a carrot dwarf myself."  
  
"Well, it just so happens I've got some carrots in here..."  
  
Faster than a faery child pouncing on a wrapped new wings module, Mulch dove and snatched a handful of carrots before walking in a very 'gentlemen- like' fashion back to his seat. "So," he talked in between loud crunches, "Why am I here?"  
  
Artemis blinked, just once in slight surprise at the speed of his movements before replying. Leaning forward in his chair with steepled fingers, he smiled. A very uncommon sight. "Mr. Diggums, I wanted you to come along on this trip because well, let's face it, it's a long trip from Dublin, Ireland to Helsinki, Finland. But it gives me just the time I need. I've been wanting to talk to you about something."  
  
Mulch blinked in return at Artemis's politeness. "What's it you need to talk about?" he asked, genuinely curious.  
  
"Oh, I've got a plan that I think is right up your alley. You see, I want you to do a break-in...."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A Break-In. Yes, very predictable, I know. But you'll see just what sort of break-in in a little bit... And Artemis will see just what harm his little break-in can do. Tune in next time o.O  
  
SIDE NOTES: Sharon's a doctor at the Helsinki University. Yes, I updated the story so that Artemis's father is still being treated at Helsinki University Hospital... You'll learn a little more about her in the next few chapters. Also, the intentions of Artemis and Mulch shall both be revealed within the next two chapters, and then, things'll start to really pick up. I have no idea what kind of R&R's I'll get for this chapter... but... we'll see u.u  
  
To Karita: No, it is a fact that Mulch Diggums/Lance Digger wouldn't be caught dead running around robbing things in pajamas. Rather, he wears something kind of like the old fashioned sort of pajamas-or so I imagine, from the description of the 'back flap' and the feet Artemis undoes, in the second book, which lie under a fine pair of boots. Much in contrast, I imagine the little man to wear a cloak over such garments, or maybe a loosely fitting tunic (Or even a scruffy white shirt, un-tucked, fitting his messy/laidback persona.). But that's me. 


	3. Knaus?

DISCLAIMER: Yes, i SHOULD have more of these --; Mmmhm.. I don't own Juliet, although she's adorably tough, (if that's even POSSIBLE...), I don't own Arty (Unfortunately!), I don't own Butler, or A butler for that matter, because I'm too poor .o , and I don't own security-smart Mulch.  
  
Side-note: Ten Reviews, People! That's more reviews than I ever expected to get XD... Shows how much I diss my own writing, ne? --' Oh! And thanks Blue Yeti for the making me awares of the 'Colfer-friendly/correct' spelling on 'fairy'. I'll try to edit what I have so far to fit that...  
  
A quick quick Chapter Three for you all: 'Fort Knaus'  
  
Mulch made a mistake right then. It was the mistake he made every time he saw his goal, or his gold in sight. He relaxed. A break-in /was/ right up his alley. Somehow, he imagined something a wee bit more challenging coming out of Artemis Fowl's mouth.  
  
Artemis took a sip of wine before murmuring, "Two words, Mulch: Fort Knox."  
  
Mulch chocked on his carrot, sending a mouthful of finely chewed orange spray every which way. "Did I hear ya right? Fort Knox? As in 'Knaus'? As in /Knausemanotalia/? "  
  
Juliet blinked finally, her trance broken. "Whazzat?"  
  
Artemis tried not to let similar confusion creep into his visage. "Nah-za-man-yo-tal-i-ya," he tried it on his tongue. "Don't tell me. Gnommish?"  
  
"Yea, Yea. May I have a word?"  
  
"Why, yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"What?"  
  
"No to this. No to the break-in. No to going to The Knaus K-Fort Knox. I'm not getting involved. Now /get me out of here/!"  
  
"Last year, if I might remind you, you got us into Koboi Labs. Fort Knox is just some man-made-or 'mud-man'-made-house compared to Koboi. Why do I get the feeling that you're scared of the place?"  
  
"Foolish human," Mulch hissed. "You figured out yourself that the word 'Knox' is derived from the ancient Gnommish word /Knausemanotalia./ Let's walk through a little etymology, shall we?  
  
"Fort: a word short for 'Fortress'. Of course, most fortresses tend to be formidable structures. Typically, impossible to break into. Fort for us, for those underground, meant protection-security. Some place with a high, HIGH level of security.  
  
"Knaus: A surname. An incredibly rare surname, among humans, and even among the people. But there was one, remarkable dwarf long ago who was named Lars Knaus. Organized, intelligent clever, famous, and even ruggedly handsome, Knaus was what every dwarf to this day would want to grow up to be."  
  
Artemis really wasn't seeing the point. "So what? You're not going to rob this place just because it's named after someone who little boy dwarves idolize?"  
  
"/Knaus-emanotalia/," Mulch repeated. "Mano. It's a word that could be similar to two things. Mana: meaning power and authority in the English, among other things if you cared to look it up. Or ma~n~ana, Spanish for tomorrow. Talia: A fairy name meaning forever.  
  
"Then we piece together out puzzle. I'll loosely tell you what you get: By a powerful force, Knaus is protected now, tomorrow, and forever.  
  
"Artemis. I'm guessing if I don't get you into Knox, you'll simply get someone else who will. But I'll tell you something right now: If you mess with Knox, you'll get way more trouble than you ever bargained for."  
  
(*And the next chapter, my friends, might include the entrance of many of our fairy pals... ;P Later~ Kitti-san/Kate/Kitkatfaye, among other names*) 


	4. Security Alphabet Soup

Here's Kitti! Back by popular demand. Funny, I really didn't think it mattered if I focused more on my school work and took a vacation from writing. But I think I've received at least a dozen emails and even complaints from people I know at school addressing the fact that I haven't updated IN MONTHS. I've got two weeks vacation from school now (Holidays! W00hoo!) so that's some extra time for reading, drawing, & of course, writing. |Anyway|. a teaser- this is basically a chapter continuing the Knaus conversation.  
  
A last comment: we got a new computer, so my old batch of Arty Fanfic files is basically. gone. Therefore, the changes that I would have liked to make on the previous chapters probably WONT BE MADE. Or at least. postponed, somewhat. Adieu!  
  
  
  
  
  
"What do you mean?" Artemis asked, his voice muffled with uncertainty. "What powerful force?"  
  
Mulch's dark eyes shifting from Butler to Artemis. "Fowl, we have the MSL, the FSS, the CFC, FAAIRYS, and the LEP all stationed up there. Not to mention. The Mighty-SOCK."  
  
"That's a lot of letters," Juliet clicked her tongue. Butler nodded.  
  
Artemis waved his hand at Juliet for quiet. "I recognize the LEP, among those many, um, organizations. But. the MSL? The FSS?"  
  
"The Mer," Mulch explained impatiently. "The Over-Seaers. And the Fairy Secret Service."  
  
Butler almost burst out laughing, "Fairies have a secret service?"  
  
"On the contrary, my dear Mud Man. The Fairies are the Secret Service. About three quarters of it in America, anyway. The other quarter is mostly made up of other Butler folk."  
  
Artemis strained a bit to remember the other letters. "The. CFC, F.AA.IRYS?"  
  
"The Centauric Fighting Circle, and Foaly's Amazing Artificially Intelligent Robotic ye1K Soilders."  
  
"Christ! You're jesting."  
  
"No, I'm not. I did mention the LEP, didn't I? Foaly's become much more involved with the LEP, and amazingly, he's been requested to start his own robotic fighting force."  
  
Artemis was noticing the way Mulch was talking now. His voice had subtly changed, his tone grave, and his English flawless. He drew in a sharp breath, staring at the airplane's fine carpeted floor. "And the Mighty- SOCK?"  
  
Mulch's face twitched, rearranging itself in a grim smile. "This is where things get really fun, boy. The Spirit of Chrishanoffer Knaus is there, too."  
  
Juliet launched into a fit of un-ladylike laughter. "So, you've got yourself a ghost, a whole bunch of horse-people, robots, and power-crazy socks down there! That's like, a total case of ELITE BW."  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"Everyone Living in the Entire Bloody World."  
  
"Real cute, Blondie," Butler grinned.  
  
Mulch threw up his pudgy arms in exasperation. "Don't you understand? This is not a laughing matter! D'ARVIT!!! Knaus himself is there."  
  
"Telling the story about this Knaus-man as you did, you made it sound as if he'd died a long time ago."  
  
"He did die a long ago."  
  
"I don't believe I understand the problem, then."  
  
"I said the Spirit of Knaus resides there. But now, now: who expects a child such as you, Fowl, to believe in spirits?"  
  
Dainty heels padded upon the carpet in a series of practiced steps, which were approaching the pulled-closed curtain that divided the plane in half.  
  
"Mother." Artemis caught his bottom lip between his teeth before hissing, "Mulch, back into the overhead compartment!"  
  
"Compartment, me? No!"  
  
"Mother will see you!"  
  
"So?"  
  
"YOU'RE A DWARF! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SO?!"  
  
Angeline was getting closer, the skirt of her dress rustling. "Artemis, Darling, you play such adorable games with your Butler and Julie. Perhaps you'll be an actor someday if you pay closer attention to your schoolwork, ne?" She was upon them now, peeking over Artemis's chair and smiling amiably. She eyed Mulch, who stood stone still with an undecided expression on his face. "Julie, girl, is this one of your dolls?"  
  
".Yes?.." offered Juliet.  
  
"May I take a look at him?"  
  
Artemis's eyes pleaded with Juliet, but she just tossed her golden locks and grinned, "Why the Hell not?"  
  
  
  
Mhm.. Actually tweaking the next chapter. It should be up within a couple days- so quit yer whining! Later, all. Most sincerely- kitkatfaye 


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